My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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