Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
