there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
