Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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