don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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