Pappa wants mamma naked
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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