all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
