he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
