omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
