I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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