it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
