At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
