where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
NoShamevember. You game?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize