it was like his penis was on wheels.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
