Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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