drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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