Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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