Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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