all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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