bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
