please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
