Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
