The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
