On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
