You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
