im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
