Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
