How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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