i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I want to fling myself into the sun
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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