how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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