So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
