Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
