Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
