k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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