i can't believe i had my finger in that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
