I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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