I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
