I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
