3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
