Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Text me some of your sweat
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
