don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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