Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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