She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Found your dick twin last night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
