Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize