there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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