Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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