I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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