Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
