how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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