Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
