haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize