Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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