I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
