I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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