I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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