I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
